February 26--Letter to Yellowbook.com

Hi! I received your Yellowbook directory outside my door a few days ago, and although I appreciate that your company considered me, I do not use a phone book and would like it to go to someone less privileged! I have temporarily brought it inside to prevent any unnecessary wear from the weather, but please let me know when your company will available to pick it up and I will give you my address and place it outside my door.

Thanks!
Teeney

PS. I'm sorry I don't feel comfortable giving you my phone number! You *are* a phone book company and I just want to make sure my number stays unpublished. Please let me know if you *really* need it to contact me. Thanks again!

February 22--NEWS FLASH

IT IS PANCAKE WEEK.

February 20

I like the number twenty. It is not only a nice, round number, but it has many factors: 1, 2, 4, 5, 10, and 20. Additionally, it is exceedingly pleasant to type.

The word "sniveling" might be one of the most derogatory words in the English language. I have never heard it used in a positive manner, and it certainly gives a the impression of being pathetic, almost evil. Like one of the Hyena's in Disney's Lion King.

The number twenty will never snivel, not for you, and not for any God.

February 19: It's a trap.

I've spent my Thursday watching Star Wars episodes four and six. "What the fuck, Teeney?!" you're probably saying. "Everyone KNOWS the Empire Strikes Back is the good one." Yeah, I know. And if we ever watch Star Wars together, you'll make me watch that one. Anyways, I've always loved The Return of the Jedi, since I can remember. My parents may have saved my life by making sure I grew up without a TV (but with the internet!), but they were still certain to make sure that I'd seen the Star Wars trilogy (and 2001: A Space Odyssey).

I don't remember a whole lot about that first time I watched the movies. I remember Greedo getting shot, I remember Luke losing his hand, and I remember loving the Ewoks. Who cares that I was, at that time, the Ewoks target audience? I also remember playing that Star Wars computer game about ten years ago on the family's aging Mac. I thought that game was the shit; computer game historians remember it differently.

In any case, I do enjoy seeing how much the characters have grown up from the fourth episode to the sixth. Luke has changes from a whiney little emo kid to an armed and capable whiney emo kid. Han is the same, except in love. Leia is the same, except she's in love and has a brother.

My mom likes to tell the story about episode six being released. Her enitre division at work took off to go see it. Her boss knew, but told them not to let anyone see them, as the other departments would have been upset. Coming out of the theatre was probably the only time anyone in my family has ever had to duck news cameras.

And what's this with Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams being engaged? I mean, WTF? I thought Mandy Moore was still all A Walk to Remember* and music videos with VW Bugs. But more importantly, I remember Ryan Adams--like Luke Skywalker--a whiney little bitch. I also remember his hair being this color. When did he go blond?

*WTF, IMDB?! 7.0!?

February 18

I looked silently at her lips. All women are lips, all lips. Some are pink and firmly round: a ring, a tender guardrail from the whole world. And then there are these ones: a second ago they weren't here, and just now--like a knife-slit--they are here, still dripping sweet blood.

Yevgeny Zamyatin
"We"

February 17

It's a rainy morning and for no reason I haven't been able to stop yawning. Also for no reason, I've been thinking a lot about pancakes. My coffee shop experience hasn't been great today. My "for here" coffee was served in a "to go" cup, and she left me an inch for the cream I don't take. I tipped anyway. I need a motherfucking job.

February 16

Yesterday was a big day. I learned how to drive standard. Well, I learned how to drive in first and second gears in a middle school parking lot. It's not exactly the same.

The new bunny is a-okay. I haven't decided what to do with it yet, but I think Corey and I decided to call it Luffa. You should feel free to come visit Luffa any time, and then imagine showering by rubbing a sudsy bunny all over your body.

I've finally started actually writing my thesis, which is a big step forward, but doesn't change the fact that I am entirely overwhelmed.

February 13

Happy early Valentine's Day! Corey and I celebrated by rescuing a lost bunny rabbit. Have you lost your bunny rabbit in Hyde Park? Because I probably have it. It's a totally sweet, sweet bunny. Hm.

February 12

This is a story about how my thesis is consuming my life.

When Black Sabbath broke up and Ozzy went out on his own in the early 1980's, his now-wife Sharon became his manager. He's a big name in the San Antonio scene because of the whole Alamo piss fiasco, so he gets a good amount of press in the the local papers in the 1980's.

I've done about 11 hours of micro-filming total at this point, and after looking at a couple months of newspapers on microfiche, you start training your brain to pick up on different words and phrases. Yesterday, about five hours into my microfilm session, I stopped scrolling and stared at the screen. What the fuck!? I wondered, blinking. Why the hell is Sharon in Israel?! Did Ozzy have a strong Jewish following?

... Yeah.

February 11

I spoke too soon about yesterday. It did have rain. Lots of it. While I was on the highway, driving 35 miles an hour.

I am currently on the sixth floor of the San Antonio Public Library. I have been looking at microfilm for four hours. My eyes hurt, my tummy is hungry, and I need to use the restroom. It amazes me how many articles the newspapers published in the 1980's on dieting. Seriously. You'd think women would want to read about nothing but how Nancy Reagan and Princess Di stayed thin. There was also a great article published in 1982 about keeping lettuce crisp.

My research has not been very productive today.

What a great day.

February 10

Well, it's a brand new day, once again, just like yesterday but without the rain. I skipped class to do this phone interview, and now I'm sitting at home waiting for the guy to call me back. Such is life.

I'm planning on heading back down to San Antonio for more microfishing tomorrow, but it'll kind of be a disappointment because I doubt the incredibly nice, friendly Ira will be volunteering tomorrow. I'm going to try and get a few more interviews done, and I have to start writing this weekend. I'm excited about it. Writing is the best part.

February 9

It's that time of year again! You're either planning something entirely stupid for Saturday or you're planning on pretending nothing happens on Saturday.

Corey and I have briefly discussed going to the gun range.

It's also easy crossword day, so go pick up a Texan while I finish my coffee.

February 8

Women can come into their own only when men see them as equals, not as property. Then a woman loves a man as he loves her; then he has no rights over her and she none over him. This is the source of women's greatest charm. Without equality, the love of women as objects of beauty is evil. But as yet, her kingdom is small, and it will reach its fullness only in the future.

Nikolai Chernyshevsky
1862

February 7

It was one of those shit nights, when almost nothing works out. I went with Fidel to see the Reverand Glasseye preform. My plan was to then meet up with Darlene, who had gone home feeling ill. Fidel went to meet up with people I have nothing in common with, so I called Corey, to meet up with him. He was on the other side of town, but headed back to the side of town I was at... in forty minutes.

So now it's midnight and I'm getting ready to watch a movie by myself. It's too late to buy beer at the store and my neighborhood bar is really a neighborhood bar, and closes at midnight.

Fuck weekends.

February 6

Welcome to the weekend. I have done nothing today except drink coffee and eat my parents' food. Today's San Antonio trip will be tomorrow. It's a beautiful day. My newest new experience is this, and I liked it.

February 5

Andy is now 21, and the world can breathe a sigh of relief. He has escaped from the Barton Springs Saloon, and can now drink margaritas anywhere he pleases. He can even purchase his own beer for drinking during D&D. I have decided that the apex of passive aggressive pleasure is in pulling up to a car with its windows down at a stoplight, turning your own music up and rolling down your own windows, and then smirking at your neighbor as you watch them rolling their windows up out of the corner of your eye. I don't know what they're running away from. My music's better anyway.

February 4

Tea is good, but it's no coffee. Today is the best I've felt all week, in spite of making Corey coffee at 7:45 this morning. Today I spoke with a very nice woman at the San Antonio Office of the City Clerk about obtaining records for the May, 1982 meeting in which Ozzy Osbourne was banned from the city. Apparently, immediately after this discussion, the council moved on to discuss the possible banishment of Pac-Man. Oh, those jokesters.

February 3

My allergies have been awful the last few days, which makes my asthma horrible. This means that when I ride my bicycle, not only do I feel like shit, but I also can't breath. And then snot drips out my nose. Today I took the bus, but it doesn't change the fact that I still feel like shit.

I was excited about the possibility of free Denny's breakfast, but under scrutiny, I realized since I do not like bacon and rarely like pancakes, decided it probably wasn't worth it. The Super Bowl is now over, and the loser was undoubtedly the people who watched it only for the commercials. These people are generally the guarenteed winners, but it was quite an upset this year. Then this lame kid ate my pizza and didn't even say, "Thank you."